An "I´m irritated" post...

ENGLISH!! Yeah!!!

So... There are things irritating me more and more each day here and things that make me more and more excited to remember and continue learning about like social justice, solidarity, and other awesome things!

Irritant #1: Machismo.

I cannot express how much I slightly hate and completely don´t understand machismo.  Perhaps I can´t see through my rosy semi-feminist glasses, but whatever.  A few stories of some experiences here.

A - I can´t walk anywhere by myself after 10 PM at night as a woman because I guess I might get raped or robbed or taken away to be someone´s novia.... Who knows?  It drives me crazy because there have been a lot of times that I want to go hang with friends down in the Central Park, but my family lives freaking so far away from the damn center of town I have to take a taxi, which I really am kind of opposed to because I don´t want to take the scenic route around Xela to get home.  Will see what happens tonight, I´m going for some damn drinks tonight.  Yeap yeap. 

B - The dad at my house really drives me bonkers sometimes.  When he gets home from work, he sits down and just expects there to be food ready.  Sometimes, he even says no I don´t want empanadas, I want an egg with beans.  Really?  And I hardly ever hear him say thank you for dinner.  The women don´t seem to mind.  His wife packed his clothes for him when he went out of town, I´m pretty sure she picks out his clothes for him each day.  He´s told me he has no idea how to cook and that he will never learn because after his mother-in-law and wife stop cooking, his daughter will do it because he plans on living with his daughter and her husband in the future.  It´s one thing to expect dinner, it´s another to never say thank you for cooking it (or cleaning the damn house).

C - I cannot tell you how f´n tired I am of being catcalled, whistled at, hola´d at, hi´d at, hey babies´d at, whatever.  I´m f´n WHITE, get over it.  I don´t think that catcalling works with the local Guatemalan ladies, so why would it work with me.  I wish that I had more melanin in my skin sometimes.  Being the only white girl in a 100 yard radius was really awesome when I first got here... now it´s really worn out it´s welcome, especially when some weird old Guatemalan dude tells you something gross and disgusting in Spanish and grabs the upper inner aspect of your left thigh while you´re walking by him (or your boob, like happened to my friend).  I have no interest in dancing with you at a discoteca, if I did, why would I be passing you on the street sober right now... No I´d be pregaming at some awesome gringa bar.  I also have no interest in being your novio, cariña, amor, etc. 

Irritante Numero Dos: The clinic

Don´t get me wrong, I am really enjoying practicing my Spanish with patients and helping them have easy and affordable access to treatments that they would not normally get if we weren´t there, but it´s disorganized and the disorganization is easy to fix.  Hire a manager for the clinic, supposedly there already is one, but he´s never there.  We don´t get an orientation or anything... and then end up getting yelled at for not making the clinic run fast enough when the purpose of being there is to fucking  practice SPANISH.  Maybe your clinic would run on time if the doctor didn´t show up two hours late.  Secondly, the communication, which is the key to safe, quality medical care, is terrible here.  Those who are from Guatemala do not talk to the students at all so half the time we have no idea how anyone or anything is organized.  Secondly, they let doctors two weeks out of medical school practice independently... that´s not safe.  This experience has been great for some reasons... in that I've gotten to take care of kids, which I won't get to do for a long time.  It also has reminded me how important communication is for awesome patient care!  I've always witnessed excellent communication at UCH... so now I can use some terrible examples for when it will definitely go wrong in the future.  I also had a disagreement with a doctor and it went well... rad!  Anyways, the clinic this morning went way better.  We were more organized and I didn't feel like shit was going wrong all the time.  It was probably because mobile clinic was on Wednesday.

Irritante #3: Insecurity

A - Like above, I'm tired of not being able to go out when I want to go out.  I guess it's good because then I don't spend any money on crap I don't really need to eat or drink, but I feel like an old lady when I fall asleep at 9:30 central time reading Pride and Prejudice.  God that sentence sounds so old ladyish.  But really I wish that I could go see singers or go out with friends when they ask me, but I just don't want to take a freaking taxi everywhere.

B - I always feel like I have to be at the top of my game constantly and super alert.  This is in part because of ladrones and in part of the machismo I mentioned above.  I'm just tired of it and I miss my country where being a woman is a little bit more appreciated (definitely not fully).

Irritante #4: Polvo.

This is dust. My snot is black.  Gross.  I can't wait for some fresh air this weekend at the Lake.  Fingers crossed.

Irritante #5: Traffic.

There are like 8 million cars here and they don't stop for human beings.  I constantly feel like I'm going to get run over if I'm not paying full attention to what's going on around me.  I should be able to walk through a cross street without worrying about someone turning right from the other street.  Pedestrians don't have the right of way though and they don't really care if they injure or kill you with their 1970s-1980s American cars.  The incessant honking is also highly annoying, especially when they honk at you for walking in the street.  Well if someone hadn't torn up the sidewalk, maybe I wouldn't have to walk in the street.

Irritante #6: Cohetillos/Bombas.

Fireworks at 6 AM in the morning?!?!!? Is that really absolutely necessary to do?! For christ sakes, that's why everyone has roosters here for alarm clocks.


I think that's it.  Despite these all being really irritating, they do make Guatemala the country it is and Xela the city it is.  Developing countries are "developing" for a reason.  Despite these things being annoying, I don't mean to sound like a "rich" gringa snob from the states.  I'm just saying I won't miss them when I'm gone, I'm trying to give you a picture of everyday life and culture, and trying to use the bad experience as a lesson and a good thing in the future.

I'm really excited for this weekend.  3 1/2 days in one of the most beautiful places in the world!  Can't wait to relax and next week, since I'm tired of Mrs Laura Bauer saying I hate everything... I will write a post about all the things I love, which will include how I got to ride a motorcycle last night!!!! MOTORCYCLES!! God I want one.